Blame it on Eve. She succumbed to the blandishments of a talking snake and committed the first sin by disobeying a patriarchal God. Worse, she used her feminine wiles to beguile poor, innocent Adam to join in her iniquity. Mistaken that the pursuit of knowledge was preferable to blind, ignorant obedience, she proved that women were incapable of making wise decisions.

          She wanted to know about good and evil? Well, a woman’s desire to choose is the greatest evil.

          Such inquisitive initiative – er, insubordination – had to be punished. And not just Eve, but every one of her daughters, granddaughters and heirs must henceforth be subjected to the will of men. Women can’t be trusted.

          So, Oklahoma lawmakers acted this past session to protect women from their flawed  decision-making by enacting anti-choice abortion-denying measures representing the view of a small minority of Americans.

          No abortions after conception.

          But, why stop there?

          Every menstruation discharges one ovulating egg plus about a thousand others. Shouldn’t there be some provision to protect the least possibility of life? Why are we losing this ovulating egg? Because uppity women refuse to get pregnant at every opportunity to fulfill their primary duty of procreation.

          Right after Texas passed its own draconian anti-choice laws, a true-believing prosecutor filed murder charges against a woman after a miscarriage. Wiser heads prevailed and the charges were dropped. But, not until after one of the worst experiences that can befall a woman was paraded before the public.

          Democratic Congressperson Lucy McBath of Georgia recently recounted her own tribulations in trying to get pregnant, including two miscarriages and one induced labor when she was forced to carry a dead fetus in her womb for weeks while doctors hoped that she would miscarry.

          She testified: “After which failed pregnancy should I have been imprisoned? Would it have been after the first miscarriage, after doctors used what would be an illegal drug to abort the lost fetus?

          *Would you have put me in jail after the second miscarriage? Perhaps that would have been the time, forced to reflect in confinement at the guilt I felt, the guilt that so many women feel after losing their pregnancies.

          “Or would you have put me behind bars after my stillbirth, after I was forced to carry a dead fetus for weeks, after asking God if I was ever going to be able to raise a child?”

          Rep. McBath was speaking rhetorically, but not to the ears of literal-minded theocrats.

          And, since Oklahoma women have been deemed incapable of making basic decisions about their personal health and well-being, we should certainly reconsider such developments as women’s advancement into management positions, especially if that puts them in charge of legally superior men.

          And speaking of turning back the clock to the good old days, menstruating women once had to isolate their “impurity” from men’s society. So, since it would infringe upon corporate prerogatives to mandate such isolation huts at businesses, it follows that women who refuse their duty to get pregnant at every opportunity to prevent undesirables from replacing our superior ilk, any unrepentant hussies should be forced to stay home until their risk of “contaminating” men co-workers has passed.

          This “women’s problem” predates the overall Women Problem. That dates back to giving women the vote and the subsequent illusion that they are equal citizens of this country. As women have been deemed incapable of making medical decisions regarding their own bodies, it is ridiculous to let them influence the body politic.  Maybe it’s time to revisit women’s suffrage – at least in theocratic states – if for no other reason than to see how many women endorse increased servitude.

          (Gary Edmondson is chair of the Stephens County Democratic Party. Longer versions of his columns can be found at or

It’s all Eve’s fault

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